Friday, December 5, 2008

Sending out the love

It's funny how sometimes just putting something on paper (or in this case the screen) can make it happen, or change it or at least change the way you feel about it. After writing about my psychotic children, they have, of course, been perfect angels. I must admit to having used a quote from the ever-adorable Lori's comment about "If you are not bleeding, dying, throwing-up or on fire..." just this morning on them. Whoo Boy, that one made me laugh out loud when I read it. But in general, it has been quite the happy fest here at the Hotel Dumpling. I am decorating the house with a fury Martha Stewart would admire, and we are generally getting into the swing of the festive season.

And while I am thinking about it, Lori is another mom-to-be waiting patiently, or actually not so patiently but she puts a good face on it, for a referral from Kyrgyzstan. She has been waiting to be a mom basically forever, and she will, so clearly, be great at it. I hate that she is still waiting. I have other friends and acquaintances who are also waiting for referrals and have been for a long time. Like the amazing Jeanne, whose contract got to our agency 2 days after ours and she still hasn't received her referral for a baby boy. Meanwhile we have been home with Noah for 4 months. TWO DAYS separated our contracts and she is still waiting, and I might add, hopeful, helpful and supportive of all the other waiting parents out there. And then there are people like Suzanne, who has been over to Kyrgyzstan, met her beautiful daughter-to-be and then had the program slow down to the point where she actually went back to visit the baby because she couldn't stand the idea of not seeing her for so many months. But the ones who I hold in my thoughts the most are the families and children who met each other LAST WINTER, and are still waiting for their court dates to go through. They are adopting from Bishkek (we adopted from Tokmok which didn't experience a slow-down until this summer) and there are literally dozens of families stuck at various points in this crazy process.
Then there are the babies and children. The babyhouses and orphanages do their best for them, but Kyrgyzstan is poor and there isn't going to be enough electricity this year for everybody to keep the lights and heat on all day. They are going to have scheduled rolling blackouts IN THE WINTER!
Now, obviously adoption is not the solution to a country's problems with poverty or orphans, but this is a small adoption program and it will help a few kids who don't have families gain that stability and love that only a parent's love can provide.
My point is, I think about this program and the people stuck in it every single day. Adoption is so much about luck and timing and, well, yeah, luck. We got ridiculously lucky with our speedy adoption of Noah. And we know that. We are amazed by it every day. But there are families all over the world waiting and worrying about the children they hope to parent. They are committed to these children no matter what. I hold them all in my hearts and thoughts every day. Them and the children and the birthparents. Because I truly believe that good thoughts and love can move mountains. Maybe you could take a minute and send some love and good vibes out to all the families waiting to be united too? Thanks.

Another time, I want to talk about how we can all live in such a way that doesn't contribute to the poverty and inequality that separates children from birthparents in developing nations, because I do believe that adoption should always be a last resort. But not now. Now I just want these waiting families to be together.


Rachel said...

April, I totally agree with you. But the one thing that actually makes me a little heartened is the wording on the rationale for why the slow down in Kyrg - if they are taking a little time now to ensure that US agencies don't multiply like bunnies, that means SO MUCH more than the slow down now - it could prevent an entire closure later, and it could ensure the stability of the program over the long run. At least, that is my hope and prayer.

My heart goes out to the waiting families - TWO DAYS difference in application? dossier acceptance? whatever - is an insanely short period of time. And those kids need warm loving homes.

But it makes me feel very secure in the Kyrg program if the Kyrg government really does care about its children that much - that it will take some time to ensure that the program is well-regulated.

I am praying for the families and the kids and the birthfamilies.

(I said I would not blog, but I am apparently still commenting!)

Jes said...

Thank you so much April for your words of encouragement. Any extra prayers or love that is sent out is wonderful!


Jeanne said...

April, thank you for the love. I was surprised to be mentioned by name, and I have to tell you, finding your post was the high point of what was an otherwise awful day. I'm glad your Noah is home with you and thriving so.